To be Happy
by Geek09
Summary: A conversation of reminiscing at Grimmauld Place ranges from 'Snuffles' to Regulus Black for Sirius and Remus, when finally Sirius brings Tonks to his friend's attention. One shot.


Disclaimer: All recognisable characters, places etc belong to the genius that is J.K Rowling.

Summary: A conversation of reminiscing at Grimmauld Place ranges from 'Snuffles' to Regulus Black for Sirius and Remus, when finally Sirius brings Tonks to his friend's attention.

**To be Happy**

Remus Lupin gazed into the burning fire of Number 12, Grimmauld Place as it cast ominous dancing shadows over the large walls behind him. His light eyes were shining softly out from his delicately lined face.

Sirius Black sat at the table, a few spaces behind from where Remus had moved closer to the warmth. He head was cocked to the side as his watched his friend curiously, in the dark kitchen of what used to be his Mother's house. A thick silence was hanging through the air; one Sirius had almost become used to. He had a feeling that it came with the house, from being back here; the place he hated most and had never spent one happy childhood memory. He could never be comfortable here.

He broke the silence just when he thought that the atmosphere was going to choke him.

"Wish it were a full moon."

Remus broke his daze to send a glare to the grinning Sirius. "You would."

The infamous mischievous sparkle appeared in Sirius's eyes. "Aw, come on Moony, you know it can be fun. Some of the best times we had at Hogwarts were in creature-form. And Lord knows I could do with a bit of excitement," he added darkly, scowling at the high walls.

Remus turned around to face his friend better. Being back here reminded Sirius of a time he would rather forget, he knew. True, Sirius had been through worse, but Remus was starting to suspect that being locked up here was slowly driving Sirius mad. However, he could tell that something more was bothering his friend. "What's up?" he asked simply.

Sirius scowled. "Don't 'what's up' me, Lupin, 'what's up' yourself? What are you thinking about when you brood over the fire, Moony?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Oh, how I've missed your bluntness, Padfoot. Old times."

"Ah," Sirius nodded. "Any one in particular? We're getting quite old now, you know."

Remus nodded sadly. He gaze faltered before quickly speaking. "Yes, actually. Remember how you got the nickname Snuffles?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows at this abrupt change of subject and tried to recall. His eyes bore into those of his friends for a few long moments and his small smile wavered. "No," he finally admitted, all traces of mirth disappeared. "I'm afraid Azkaban has knocked a few memories out of me."

Remus watched as Sirius eyes returned to the dull, empty ones he so hated to see. He nodded reassuringly and smiled, "Well then let me enlighten you…"

"_Sirius!" Remus hissed as he leapt across the room and slammed the dormitory door shut. "Will you stop that? Bertram could walk in any second!"_

_Peter nodded in agreement from where he sat on the edge of his bed. "Yeah, he's been waiting to get you ever since he became a _prefect_," he said with disgust._

_Padfoot barked in response, which caused Remus to make frantic shushing gestures with his hand and press himself against the door. Padfoot, Sirius's Animagus form, ignored him and continued to jump around the room happily, making full use of his four legs. He pounced onto his bed from where he jumped and landed gracefully at James's feet, which were dangling over the edge of the bed, with the book he was concentrated on in his lap._

_When James ignored him, Padfoot nudged his leg with his nose. James made to thwart him away but Padfoot was obviously set on gaining his attention now and persisted. _

"_James, just pet the damn dog so he transforms back," Remus said from the doorway as Padfoot now lay down, his head wresting on James's foot, whimpering softly._

"_Sirius –be quiet, I'm-" Sirius whimpered even more loudly. "Sirius, will you stop – snuffling at me, I'm trying to concentrate!"_

_The room was silent for one long moment._

_A flash of light and Sirius stood in front of James, looking murderous. "I – do – not- _snuffle!"

_James smirked slightly and went back to his book. Barely stifled laughter came from the corner of the room. _

"_Snuffles…"_

When Remus had finished, Sirius gaped at him, evidently horrified. "Ah! I remember now! Although, I think it would have preferred that forgotten…" he grimaced.

Remus chuckled. "Oh no, the look on your face when James called you it was priceless."

Sirius just scowled, but couldn't keep away a fond smile. "Yeah, well, James was just jealous that I had managed the transformation it before him. He held that grudge for a long time."

"He managed it the next day!"

Sirius snorted. "Not the point, is it?"

Remus just smiled and asked, "Now, what's wrong with you? Something other than this old place?"

Sirius sighed. "I hate this place, you know I do, Moony," he said with a hint of desperation in his voice. "But no, it's not that it's – well -Tonks will be coming over soon."

Remus nodded, frowning slightly at him. "Ah, Tonks: the only other decent Black left."

Sirius smiled grimly. "Yep. Proud to be blood-traitors of my Mother, both of us."

"Then there's hope for the Noble Blacks yet."

"There always was," Sirius replied. "If it weren't for Andromeda I wouldn't have known a life not following Mummy's orders when I first stepped onto the Hogwarts Express. I believe she had already begun to loathe me then." He glanced at the kitchen walls once again, but with a different look this time, with an air of happy defiance.

"Ah, but you didn't always think so," Remus reminded him, trying subtly to get to the root of what Sirius was saying and taking his time doing it. He leant back in his chair, enjoying the conversation with his friend. He stays at Grimmauld Place were sometimes cut short so they'd learnt to make the most of what they were given. "Do you remember Regulus's first day at Hogwarts? You didn't believe there was much hope then."

Sirius nodded grimly. How could he have forgotten that?

"_Goodbye, Regulus. Make us proud," Mrs Black said on the platform of 9¾, enveloping her youngest son in a quick hug._

_Sirius shifted uneasily from where he watched them. "Come on, let's go!" he hissed at his brother. "There's not much long left!"_

_Mrs Black released her son and held him at arm's length. "Now, don't forget, son. You have the family honour to uphold. Don't make us regret sending you."_

_Sirius scowled at his Mother who was ignoring him completely. If only she hadn't kept her opinions of him this subtle through his summer…_

_Regulus nodded as he looked into his Mother's stern but imploring face. He turned as Sirius moved away and began to push his trolley after him._

_Once they were both on the train and had started to make their way through the hallway, Sirius turned to Regulus, knowing this might be the only chance he would get._

"_Listen, Reg – I just wanted a word before we got to the castle. I want you to know that you don't always have to do as she tells you, okay? Don't let her suppress you. You can be who you want to be. Do you get what I'm saying?" Sirius said, looking into his brother's eyes earnestly. He didn't want to be pressuring his brother either; he just wanted him to know that he had the choice._

_Regulus watched his brother, flustered. "Yeah – yeah, I get you, Sirius."_

_Sirius smiled. "Good. Here's my compartment." He stopped outside the one his three friends James, Remus and Peter occupied. "You can sit with us, if you like. Or you could go find some other first years -"_

"_Yeah, I think I'll do that," Regulus said quickly, grabbing his trunk and walking off down the hallway away from Sirius._

_Sirius watched him and sighed, sliding open the compartment door to meet the greetings and enquiries of his friends._

_(.) – (.) – (.) – (.)_

"_Black, Regulus!"_

_Regulus gulped nervously as he stepped forward to the stool and the Sorting Hat was placed on his head. It was silent for a few moments, speaking to him only, and then…_

"_SLYTHERIN!"_

From the Gryffindor table, Sirius bowed his head. He couldn't bear to watch as Regulus trotted over to the Slytherin table, taking a seat next to Bellatrix Black and Severus Snape. Two pairs of hands squeezed his shoulders comfortingly.

"_You tried, Sirius…"_

"_It's his loss, mate…"_

Sirius had felt the disappointment hard, like his Mother had defeated him personally. He should have known better than to try, really. The only reason that he did was because – well, because when Sirius first came to Hogwarts and first met Peter Pettigrew, he had reminded him of Regulus. Naïve, soft and lost. And Peter had been one of his best friends, so he had thought that there must be some hope for Regulus… and he was wrong in both retrospects, it seems.

"Well, yeah, that wasn't a very good day for the Blacks - when I'm recalling it anyway. But, seeing my previously eight year-old cousin as a full-grown Auror with pink hair was," Sirius grinned.

Remus chuckled. "You could never say Blacks were dull."

Sirius was watching his friend closely now. "No, you couldn't. Yeah, Tonks is great. And she's into you, mate."

"I – what?"

Sirius silenced him with a 'Don't be thick' look, but then quickly hid a smirk and tried his best at 'patient and understanding'. "Come on, haven't you noticed? The looks she sends you sometimes, Moony…"

"What, Sirius Black does romance now?" Remus quickly countered, looking at him incredulously.

"Oh, sweet Merlin, no! But that doesn't mean I can't recognise it when I see it. I had to spend over six years with a love-struck James, for crying out loud… and he was twice as bad when he finally got the girl!

Look, she likes you. Oh come on, Moony -" Sirius said when Remus turned away awkwardly. "It's about time you got some happiness! You deserve it, I know you spent those eleven years absolutely miserable -"

"What? You're one to talk!" said Remus, shocked.

"Yeah, well, that's neither here nor there," Sirius said, waving a hand dismissively. "I'm talking about _you. _I don't know how you did it, you know," he added quietly. "To spend half a decade, alone, thinking that your two best friends were dead… the other a traitor. I don't think I would have had the strength to, without Harry aswell…"

Remus sighed and shook his head. "Actually, I think you had it worse. Knowing what you knew, and being stuck in Azkaban with the Dementors -"

"It was because I knew the truth that I managed it."

"Yeah, well do not doubt your strength, Sirius."

Sirius frowned. "How is it you keep turning this around on me?"

Remus shook his head, smiling. "Well, it doesn't matter cause we're both here now."

Sirius grinned slyly. "Great! So that's settled then."

Now Remus frowned. "What is, exactly?"

"You and Tonks. No, listen, mate-" he said as Remus opened his mouth to protest. "I can see you you're shocked by the idea of this. But I just wanted to tell you I think it's a good idea. A great one actually - my cousin has good taste."

Sirius was still grinning when he stood up. "I'm gonna go feed Buckbeak – call me if you need me."

Remus nodded vaguely, staring again into the fire. As Sirius left the room he realised that he had just received his friend's blessing - to date Tonks. To be with his last remaining relative.

To be happy.


End file.
